Maybe. Maybe not.
School is almost over, and your eyes are glued to the clock. In a few hours, your friends are coming over for a movie night. You can almost taste the sweet caramel popcorn.
But your BFFs, Priya and Carlos, don’t look so excited. They got into an argument at recess, and they’re still upset. Should you help them work through their fight or stay out of it?
Hurt Feelings
Some people think you shouldn’t get involved in friends’ arguments. For one thing, if you weren’t with your friends at recess, you probably don’t have enough information to help. You could ask Priya or Carlos to explain what happened, but you might get only one side of the argument. You could end up taking a side without meaning to. That could lead to more hurt feelings.
Plus, solving the argument will take a lot of time and effort—especially when you weren’t a part of it. Shouldn’t your friends be the ones to spend time solving their disagreement?
“It can be difficult to be the friend who cleans up the mess,” says Andrew Tegeler, an elementary school counselor in New York City.
Last, research shows that most kids make up after they’ve had time to cool off. Giving Priya and Carlos space could be the best way to help them.
Worth a Try
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Still, you may feel that getting involved is the right thing to do. After all, these are your best friends! You know Priya and Carlos better than anyone.
Before stepping in to help, take some time to think about how you’ll do it.
“Ask yourself what’s in your control and what’s out of your control,” suggests Tegeler.
You can’t control when—or if—Priya and Carlos make peace. But you can be supportive and help them learn more about each other’s feelings. This is a key step in repairing relationships.
You can also help Priya and Carlos communicate in the best way possible. How? By encouraging them to meet face-to-face. If they talk on the phone or text, neither friend can see how the other person is feeling. This could lead to misunderstandings.
Perhaps you could create an opportunity for Priya and Carlos to come together. You could invite them over early to help make caramel popcorn. They might not be ready to move on just yet. But an amazing night with BFFs could be worth a try!
Should you get involved when friends argue?
Should you get involved when friends argue?
Should you get involved when friends argue?
What Do You Think?
Go back to the article and write down reasons to support each side of the debate. Then study the points on both sides. State your opinion in one sentence, which can be the introduction to an opinion paragraph.
Can't Miss Teaching Extras
Navigating friendship can be tricky. Continue this conversation with your students and read “The Stars Below Me,” a sweet story about what it means to be a good friend.
Have your students weigh in on other relationship-related debates like “Should You Invite Everyone to Your Birthday Party?” and “Is It Ever OK to Lie?” Afterward, click on the Resources Tab for an opinion-writing activity.
Communicating your feelings with friends can be difficult. Read “We Used to Be Best Cousins” and “The Parade That Changed Everything,” two stories that show how communication can help resolve disagreements.
1. PREPARING TO READ
Have students preview the text features. Ask:
2. READING THE DEBATE
3. DISCUSSING
As a class or in groups, have students discuss:
4. CULMINATING ACTIVITY
OR
5. CHECK COMPREHENSION
6. PARTICIPATE IN THE ONLINE POLL
COMMON CORE STATE STANDARD
